LGBT Families...

How do you tell your extended family that you have a LGBT child and when?  Time to repeat myself: It’s private!  There is no Bar Mitzvah or Quinceañera style, “I’m gay!” celebration.  We don’t paint rainbows over our doorframe or place announcements in the local newspaper.  In contrast, the child typically steps in fear, wondering how their family might react to their sexuality.   Not the ideal mindset for an innocent youth.  The child’s first and foremost fear is how we as parents might react.  Society has already done a fantastic job of imbedding in their minds that homosexuality is a perversion.  So, their eyes turn to the parent.  After all, we know absolutely everything!  Moms and dads are perfect and hold the key of knowledge to unlock all childhood mysteries.   At least, that’s what I thought as a child.  Spoiler alert: I was wrong.    

The answer is, I don’t know how in the hell to tell family and if there were a “LGBT Families For Dummies”, I would buy and distribute the book.  Here’s the real kicker: I guarantee everyone has a LGBT family member and many quietly acknowledge the fact, but it’s still treated as taboo.   If you can hear me screaming, it’s because I had a close family member make an obnoxious Facebook post regarding gay marriage and it stung.  Now, have I sat down with this family member and discussed my son’s sexuality?  No, though I assume he knows.   I’m sure if I did talk about it with him, he might be more careful with his insensitive words.  But, I don’t want him to make an exception, because of my son; I want him to realize all LGBT people deserve equal rights.  Unfortunately, he doesn’t have that type of mindset and will continue to condemn, because the Bible tells us so (not my belief). 

Words hurt.  How prepared are teens in dealing with hurtful messages?  “Gay marriage is wrong!” or “You will burn in hell for gay acts!”  I mentioned 14-year-old Jamey Rodemeyer in an earlier entry.  As a gay teen, he had the support of his parents, friends and therapist, but still was the victim of bullying and words, "I wouldn't care if you died. No one would. So just do it :) It would make everyone WAY more happier!"  So he took their advice and killed himself.  Jamey should still be here.  Jamey is one of the reasons I started this blog.

I’ve managed to talk to my parents about my son’s sexuality and now I feel the need to talk to the family member who wrote those hurtful words.  I don’t expect him to change his mindset; I just want him to use more thought when blasting his opinions.  Or maybe less thought.  Or maybe I should hit him with that “For Dummies” book.  I just want to ask him to place more focus on love and acceptance.  He and I need to sit down and share a sandwich.